Where Do Good Thoughts Live?

You thought it would be a great night for a campfire. "The moon will be out and around us," you said. "We can dance in the sand and in the surf for the moon, entertain her with our joy." I agreed with reservations and hesitations. "I am too acquainted with the moon, and with you, to feel at peace," I said back. And, with an icy look, you disappeared out the door.

We set up a fire on the beach. We waited for the moon. We didn't dance. All I could do was stare at you, pull you into my eyes and try to hold you there. The fire colored you orange, highlighted your eyes and danced in your hair. You looked me in the eyes, and we held it for a count, and you broke it.

The fire was warm. The fire had the same warmth all fires have; where it touches you, it burns too warm, and everywhere else, it burns too cold. It doesn't warm your body like a blanket does, all at once. It paints the heat on in coats. You were chilly, and I held you for a count, and you broke it.

"I want to dance; I want the moon to see me and smile." You tried to dance by yourself, a dance you remembered from days past, but you fell into the sand and wouldn't let me help you up. Then, you did an unexpected thing.

I sat by the fire, and you turned your back on it and walked. With the moon watching from your right, you walked down the beach, your arms across each other across your chest. I tried to call you back to the fire, to the warmth. I tried to convince you that I make it less hot, less bright. Still, you walked and walked until there was no light from the fire to touch you and only the darkness and the moonlight lit your way.

Even that far away, I could hear you crying.

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Text in the deviation contains mature language.
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Left Side
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i can't help. I'm dying in side out side all over it seems.
she hates me; she should she will she does
i wish to god it wasn't like this
i want to be happy
i want to not cry anymore
is it her or is it me?
or is it us?

please god help me
i know that you know the best way for this to end
do i stay with her or do i go?
do i live on like this and wait for it to get better
or do i start over and give up
what do i do?
why don’t you answer me?
please
please
please...

i know she loves me
well, she says she loves me
i need to believe that
she loves me

love and god conquer all
she will be mine
she loves me
she loves me forever
she promised

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Right Side
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you're no fucking use to anyone
you're pathetic
you're worthless
you have no worth
cry cry cry cry
and nothingyou can do about it

love is dead.
god is dead
you should be

why do you think she chose you?
not for looks: ugly
not for size: fatty
not for personality: baby
not for status: geeky
maybe for money
but now that’s drying up ain't it
and she can make her own funds
with him

you are a fool
wasting your time
and ending your life for a stupid girl
enjoy the cold